A Day in the Life...

Word Demons

Words swirling, spinning, dancing
Bright as cherry blossoms
Elusive, ephemeral, empty
Thought colliding with idea
Idea crashing into concept
Theory fragmenting against
Reality
Harsh, brittle, sharp-edged
Words demanding meaning
Form and shape, while the world
Reels again in the dark
Lashing at the
Demons
We created.

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So there's that. A new pope. He's from Argentina. I am almost waiting for someone to do a YouTube video of him on the papal balcony with a dub of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina." Almost. Yeah. I'm a bad Catholic, but then we knew that. I'm so far from the religion of my birth, I'm starting to look at it mostly objectively. There's still much navel gazing to happen about that though.

"Navel gazing." I used that phrase at work today and my office neighbor looked at me like I had sprouted antlers. He has apparently never heard the phrase before. Both my boss and I thought that was incredibly odd. And funny.

I like my boss. He's from Guyana and has this interesting way of relating to the world. He grew up in the Caribbean in the British school system, so he's incredibly well read. He is the type of person who will randomly research a topic that strikes his fancy. It doesn't matter what it is. He was a teacher for a while too. And now 11 years in positions of increasing responsibility at my company from its inception. He's reminding me what it's like to have a manager who will actually challenge you and push you to your potential. It's kind of cool. Ok. It's a lot cool!

My job. My job is incredibly challenging right now on many levels. This is the first job I've had where I manage people. And the first job where I had to fire someone who worked for me. That's no fun. Not that I ever thought it would be, but man. Wow. Hard. Especially since personally I like the woman. The fit just wasn't right. So now I'm interviewing people and that's just as hard as interviewing yourself. Not only am I trying to find someone who will be the right person for this incredibly high volume, fast paced administrative position in a highly unstructured environment (one of my tasks when I have someone is actually to bring some structure to the function), but I have to sell this job to people who might, just might succeed at the job without running screaming from the building in a month. And still be honest about the position. It's ... interesting. When I've been asked to describe the environment, I've taken to saying, "Imagine you're in the circus. Now picture yourself juggling balls, spinning plates, and teaching elephants to fly." What I don't say is that oh, by the way, every so often, one of the elephants bursts into flame for no apiary reason. Sounds like fun, no? But then we all knew I was a little touched in the head. ;-)

Let's see... What else? Oh. Hrm. I went to the shore house for the first time since Hurricane Sandy. I was helping my folks and my sister pack things up and move things. See... The house is being knocked down. Soonish. My dad found a builder to take half of the land in exchange for building a house on the other half. So this was the beginning of saying goodbye to the house and, in a way, my childhood.

Walking into the house was like a blow. The first floor has been gutted. It had flooded with bay water and sewage. So everything on the first floor had to go. There was nothing left but the wood framing, the cinder lock outer walls, and the wood floor. All of the light fixtures are gone. All of the appliances and cabinetry. The funky paneling over the fireplace was really all that remained familiar. It looked so out of place and lonely. It was all I could do not to break into gut wrenching sobs at the loss. I had dreaded that day, but it had to be faced. So I faced it. I swallowed my tears and plowed on because I was there to help. It was hard. Especially seeing the look on my mom's face as she tried to swallow her tears. And watching my dad and my sister go all Klinger stoic. We each deal with loss in our own ways. So I'll take private moments to grieve for the loss of childhood, store and savor my memories, and look to the future and creating new memories.

Once the initial emotional punch had passed, there was just too much to do. Upstairs is its own special kind of disaster area. The second floor was untouched and has become a storage area and staging space for the stuff from those rooms and my sister's shop. After helping my sister move stuff back to her shop, I packed books all afternoon. If this had been my house or my parents' main house, it would have taken weeks. Still, there were at least 12 boxes of books - beach reading and children's books - and more to be packed from the studio. Huge, awkwardly sized art books mostly.

Now I'm trying to figure out exactly when I can go down again and help my sister. She needs the help. A lot. The goal is to get the shop ready to open for Memorial Day. Which means I really should be down there every weekend helping her and giving her support. And I know because I'm not, I'm letting her down and I'm a Bad Sister(tm). Thing is - and maybe I'm making excuses - early on I kept asking, "What do you need? How can I help?" I kept getting no response or, worse, non-committal responses. I also know that when I've tried to just insert my help into the family equation, I've been rebuffed. So... I've learned not to. And it's a vicious spiral of self-recrimination and second guessing myself. Frankly, I'm sick of it. I have told my family that I love them and I will do what I can, but they need to a) tell me what they need and b) let me help.

Ever get the idea that somewhere along the way, you picked up a label in your family that's just ever so slightly... off? I feel that way with mine. I feel as though they have me labeled in their collective minds as a delicate flower who can't take the harsh realities of life. Honestly, if that were true, I would have never made it past middle school. I mean come on. Really? Some of the crap I've been through in the last 40-odd years while not always Oprah-worthy (thank God!) was definitely trying and has sorely tested my mettle. But here I stand, alive and kicking.

Writing has been happening in sporadic bursts. Poetry, new stories, short scenes usually... It's good and always makes me feel better when I can write.

I've joined the gym again. While I haven't gone this week, I do enjoy it first thing in the morning. I'll go tomorrow if I can pry myself out of bed in the morning. The time shift has really screwed with my biorhythms. Again. It gets harder and harder to deal with as I age. I'd love to be back up to running 30 minutes straight by the time the summer gets here. I think I need new shoes.

Swimming really lets you know how far out of shape you really are too. Omg. Ow.

I am so sick of having constant congestion and coughing. It's a dry cough now. The humidifier isn't helping anymore. I know it's just the progress of this particular bug but man it's annoying!

Things spiritual have taken a back seat for now. That's not to say I'm not paying attention and feeding my spiritual self, but it does mean I'm feeling less in tune with that aspect of myself right now. And that's ok. I know I'll get back there again, I just need for the spiritual to not be so incredibly intense for a little while.

And we have a new pope. It should be interesting to see if the Italians think they can control him.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

An article about the study of consensual non-monogamy and how it may help all relationship styles.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=new-sexual-revolution-polyamory

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Who's going? Are there any plans for a meet 'n sniff? I have my modest collection just in case. We will be hitting site between 3 and 5, depending on traffic.

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In case you're paying attention and wondering, I posted a poem in my writing journal (writero) that kind of took me by surprise. It started out going one place but then took an abrupt turn to Albuquerque. Not really sure why. I feel like I'm in a good place. My therapist thinks I'm in a good place. So ... who knows. Still. I like the poem. I like the darkness of it. So it stays in all of its angsty glory. Lol.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Rewatching Buffy while I sew. One thing that I've always wondered about... Principal Snyder knows about the Hell Mouth. He is always sniffing around... literally, sniffing... I don't think he's entirely human. But he gets eaten long before anything interesting is revealed. I wonder if this would make a good short fic...

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The calendar is getting crazy again. I'm hoping that will change for 2013....

12/8 - Bergental Yule
12/15-12/25 - Christmas activities
12/29-1/1 - Buffalo NYE
1/5 - EK 12th Night
1/12 - a surprise party
1/26 - Birka!
2/16 - EK K&Q A&S
3/16 - Mudthaw Prep
3/23 - Mudthaw

That's as far as we've scheduled. In the middle of all that, I start as a regular employee at LiquidHub. It's pretty spiffy. :-)

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

It feels like forever since I've been to an event! Here we go...

Oct. 20 - Shire Wars
Nov. 17 - Cooks Collegium (Aethelmarc)
Dec. 8 - Bergental Yule
Jan. 25-27 - Birka

Not sure what the plan is for February.

Hmmmm... I think I need an updated SCA icon.

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Last night I dreamt I was at the shore with my family -

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That was the end of the dream. I kind of shook myself out of it, but didn't fully wake up.

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Time to update the old SCA Calendar for me:

August 25 - EKU Collegium - Bhakail
September 8 - Summer's End 2012 - Aethelmarc (Beau Fleuve)
October 20 - Shire Wars - Shire of Blak Rose
December 8 - Yule - Bergental (?)

I'm sure there's other stuff that should be on here. Recommend events! :D

A houdoun recipe dating back almost 150 years. This blend is favored by prostitutes, exotic dancers and others in the sex industry for its power to attract, seduce, and enthrall. Ensures financial gain and increased profits.

I've worn this a couple of times and each time I'm not quite sure I like it. It's a heavy floraly, musky scent. Not my usual type at all. I'm more of a smoky spicy, fruity type of girl. But it's not objectionable so I wore it a good part of the day. It definitely has staying power. It still smells as fresh on my skin as it did when I first dabbed it on.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

For the first time in forever, I dipped into my box of imps and put on the first thing I grabbed without thinking about it. It was "Catherine."

Named for the ambitious, vengeful poisoner Catherine deMedici, who used perfumes to perform her dark deeds. A sinful blend of orange blossom, rosemary and rose... allegedly the exact perfume she utilzed in her work.

It's oddly fresh and light and clean. Perfect for a hot muggy day like today. :D

A lot of friends are doing this. Seems like a good idea and I prefer LJ for these kinds of things. So...

1. I woke up and took the dog for a walk between rainstorms this morning.
2. There were a bunch of new job postings today that I was actually qualified for. I applied.
3. I sewed today.
4. I wrote a poem about my roses blooming. All of them. (it can be found on writero.)
5. I attended an inspiring HR dinner meeting tonight and met a new contact.
6. I volunteered to be on the programming committee for next year.
7. Knitting before bed. :-)

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DOG: Mom! Mom! Mom! There's a MANATTHEDOORPUTTINGSOMETHINGINTHEMAILBOXAGAIN!!!
Me: Yes, dog, there is. He's here the same time every day. Get used to it.
DOG: But MOMMOMMOMMOMMOMMOM!!!!
Me: Yes, I know. Now lay down like a good dog.
DOG: *sigh* Okay. I wish you'd take me seriously. *great big doggie sigh*
Me: I do. Now chill out...
~~~~15 minutes later~~~~
DOG: OMGTHEREAREMENOUTSIDETAKINGOURRECYCLING!!! IT'SOURSTHEYCAN'THAVEITMOMMOMMOMMOMMOM!
(Dog looks over at me. Huffs and goes to lay down again)
DOG: so unfair. Why do they get to take our recycling? We'll never see it again. Harrumph!

Still job searching. I came close to one and was told that I was one of two final candidates. I just don't have experience in the Healthcare industry that they were looking for. In the meantime, the phone interviews keep rolling in. We'll see what happens.

One of the things that perplexes me about employers (and did when I was working and actively recruiting) is the absolute insistence that one must have experience in the same industry as the employer to work for that employer. I can see how this could be a preference, but a requirement? Not that all industries are the same, but if the candidates you're seeing have the skills and job knowledge that will allow them to excel in their jobs, why do they need industry experience? Particularly in a field like mine - Human Resources is Human Resources is Human Resources. The laws are the same across the board for all industries. There's nothing special about being an HR person in the insurance industry vs. being an HR person in the pharmaceutical industry. (I've worked in both industries. I'm not just making this up.)

I suppose it could be argued that the people you work with are very different - underwriters and claims agents vs. scientists and engineers - but really... people are people and as long as you treat them all with dignity and respect, they'll generally be happy. (Recognizing of course that there are some people who will never be happy with their jobs, work loads, bosses, co-workers, etc.) But seriously - my role as an HR Generalist is to help advance the business by helping keep employees happy and management accountable. You meet your business objectives by taking care of your human resources. The rest of them - financials, product, quality - will fall into line if you treat your humans fairly and with dignity and respect. That's what all of the laws that govern employment practices are there for - to hold employers to a standard of fair treatment.

That doesn't mean employers have to roll over every time an employee is unhappy. The employer has an obligation though to examine their practices regularly and make sure they are treating their employees fairly. Transparency plays into this too as much as it's allowed. (There are certain situations in business that require a certain amount of cloak and dagger, especially during M&A's and dealing with clients in highly competitive markets/industries.) But when it comes down to it, an employer is in business to make money. End of story. Employees who forget that, forget that to their detriment. Because as long as an employer is making money, employees are generally safe in their current roles. And as long as employees perceive they are treated fairly and with dignity and respect, they will keep performing at their top levels.

What do I mean by "fairly and with dignity and respect?" I mean that if employee A gets a performance bonus for outstanding performance, she will receive a significantly higher performance bonus than employee B who is performing at a satisfactory level. I mean that things like performance levels are clearly outlined and explained to employees BEFORE review time.

I mean that employees with performance issues aren't blindsided by them at review time. Their manager will have had conversations with them and worked with them as issues arose and will take into consideration any improvement or worsening of performance through the year.

I mean that if the company DOES have regular reviews (some don't) then ALL employees receive a meaningful review at review time.

I mean that if one new hire starts with three weeks vacation, all new hires start with three weeks vacation.

I mean that if one employee is offered premium healthcare coverage, all employees are offered premium healthcare coverage.

I mean that if one employee is reprimanded for inappropriate behavior, all employees - regardless of who they are - VP, top performer, whatever - are reprimanded for inappropriate behavior.

I mean that if an employee goes to their boss with a complaint about another employee, the complaining employee is taken seriously and the issue is dealt with appropriately and promptly.

It's all common sense stuff really. Being a good manager/employer really boils down to the Golden Rule - Treat others how you would like to be treated. If you want to be treated well by other people, treat them well. Be sincere. Be open. None of this is new. Yet it bears repeating over and over again. Maybe one day the world won't need HR people to remind their business leaders not to run roughshod over their workers and to be nice to people. But until then, I have a career.

Now if I could only get someone to hire me... LOL

So ursulav has been retelling (with commentary) various old and obscure fairy tales. Today's tale is called "The Birch Tree." It's a Russian Cinderella story. Here's a version of the original: The Wonderful Birch.

And here's ursulav's retelling with commentary. The Wonderful Birch (with commentary).

Love!!!!

Read some of the other's she's annotated when you get the chance, too. They're awesome! :D

For my own sanity...
May 18-20 - Aethelmarc War Practice
May 25-28 - Quest (tentative)
June 1-3 - K&Q Archery Champs (tentative)
June 23 - EK War Camp (day trip, tentative)
September 7-9 - Summers End (Aethelmarc)
November 10 - St. Eligius

Not much planned really. It's all up in the air until I get a job.

ETA: Quest and take out K&Q Archery and St. Eligius.

Originally posted by figmentj at Submissions are open.

Since LJ is acting up... again... I've moved this here: In no particular order, this is what needs to get done before Pennsic:

• FINISH SHEET WALLS!!!! DONE!!!!
• Sew fighting pants (fast) - Fabric acquired and cut! I can't sew pants. I just give up... lol... these became a sash.
• Apply bands to WW fighting tabard, stencil trees
• Cut and sew three 2 more tunics (1 night)
• Hem all tunics - lunch and driving out to War
• Apply trim to tunics - driving out to war and at War
• hem green and rust linen for another chiton (chitons rule!)
• Cut and sew two more sleeveless shifts (never happened... maybe this weekend... maybe next month...)
• Alter teal & red linen gown (machine)  DONE!!!!
• Add red guard to brown gown (machine) DONE!!!!!
• Mend quilt! Basic patches with scraps... (next month I think...)

When one attends a Catholic funeral, the subject of the hymns is usually a fairly hot topic. Everyone has their favorites. This is mine:


What's yours? (If you have one...)

 In no particular order, this is what needs to get done before Pennsic:

• FINISH SHEET WALLS!!!!  DONE!!!!
• Sew fighting pants (fast) - Fabric acquired and cut! 
• Apply bands to WW fighting tabard, stencil trees - stenciling happening Peace Week (remember to bring fabric paint)
• Cut and sew three  2 more tunics (1 night) 
• Hem all tunics 
• hem green and rust linen for another chiton (chitons rule! - sewing machine!)
• Cut and sew two more sleeveless shifts (1 night - no sleeves!)
• hem two linen breast bindings to wear under chitons...
• Alter teal & red linen gown (machine)
• Add red guard to brown gown (machine)
• Mend quilt! Basic patches with scraps... 

I am tempted to add in altering my red and yellow linen and my green linen gowns, but really, I don't have the time. Maybe someone can help me pin them and hand alter them at War though... 

If anyone in the Philadelphia Metro area could consider helping, please chime in. fabricdragon needs assistance in finding foster homes for some of her pets. Please take a look at her post and message her directly if you can help out at all.

Thanks!

I'm doing this Daily Challenge thing and today's challenge is to write down one thing that you love about yourself. So... My thing is that I write well. What's your one thing?

I've been pondering the execution of Osama bin Laden (because what else would you call it? Assassination?)... It leaves me to wonder... will Al Qaida fall completely apart now that the supposed founder and leader of the organization is dead? Will different factions splinter off and form new groups, thereby increasing the threat level to the US exponentially? Or... will Al Qaida become even more unified in the face of a "martyred" leader? Time to hunker down gang. We're in for an even bumpier ride than before...

Leaving all that aside for a moment... was it truly justice? Is there anyway to actually extract justice for the World Trade Center attacks? What about the justice for the survivors - the ones who made it out, the families and friends of those who died, the people who actually had to make the decision to send our country into a protracted military action? Does the death of one man (regardless of how you view him) really bring justice to these people? And what about justice for the families of the military men and women killed or injured during this so-called quest for vengeance? This doesn't bring them back. I don't see it as justice.

Balance? Perhaps. Just? Fair? Right? It's morally grey. Would we, as a nation, have been better served to have captured him alive and forced to stand trial? We will never know. Now... somehow... we must move forward and hope that we can learn something - anything - from this whole senseless conflict. I fear we are only just beginning our lessons.

Snagged from debris4spike:
( My Interests Collage!Collapse )

Just a reminder... I will be walking in the Susan G. Komen Mother's Day 5K in Philadelphia on May 8. Please support my efforts by making a donation at my profile page: Sue's 5K Profile Page. Feel free to share the link, too.

Just testing the auto-cross-posting function... Don't mind me... :D

This entry was originally posted at http://suewritero.dreamwidth.org/545.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

I've registered for the Mother's Day 5K Walk. I've set a fund raising goal of $500. If you can help, please go to my Participant Page and click on the donation link. If you can't, that's okay, but please feel free to boost the signal.

Breast cancer has hit my family twice - I lost my Nana to it when I was 12. Grammy survived her bout with breast cancer about 6 years ago (or maybe more). Just last fall, a very good friend moved into the survivor category too.

Thanks!

This prompt came from a friend over at my writing journal.
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Title: A Slayer's Dream
Prompt: Waves
Wordcount: 241

The light from the rising sun reflected oddly off the surface of the water. At first Buffy couldn’t figure out why. Everything else appeared normal – bright white sand? Check. Clear blue sky? Check. Roaring surf? Check. But when she did her mental reality check for the sun, she realized it wasn’t where it should be on the horizon. In fact, it wasn’t there at all.

Then it dawned on her… a dream. This was a dream. Okay. She could handle this. Usually, the disturbing slayer dreams were set in dank, dark cellars or dungeons, or courtyards in the middle of the night. None of them happened on the beach, in broad daylight. They didn’t even start that way. She relaxed a little.

Buffy strolled slowly along the water’s edge. Spray from the breaking waves peppered her bare arms. She dug her toes into the soft, warm sand and turned to face the ocean.

“Slayer.”

Without turning, she replied, “Spike.”

“So… This is what a slayer’s dream space is like. Can’t say it’s what I expected. I would have thought it would be ...”

“Darker? Yeah. Usually they are. But sometimes… I get to dream what I want.”

They stood in silence for a bit, watching the waves roll in, feeling the gentle downward suck of the sand as the water retreated.

“Then why am I here, Slayer?”

“I’m not sure.” She turned to face him then. “But I’m glad you are.”
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x-posted to writero

Title: The Price Spoils the Pleasure
Prompt: Rain, raining men
Wordcount: 274

When the first one dropped out of the sky and landed at her feet, Danielle really didn’t think anything about it. It’s not that it was a normal occurrence – it wasn’t really – it was just… well… something that happened sometimes. You’re just walking along, minding your own business, or sitting in the park and out of the blue something would fall from the sky – a dead bird, various types of precipitation, fruit (ask Newton about that one), once even a piano.

True, this was the first time a half naked man had dropped out of the sky, but still, it was just one man. It was when he was joined by a second and a third and a fourth, falling at an ever increasing speed that she started to be concerned. Quite a crowd was gathering around her. All men, each of them gazed at her from their positions on the ground with adoring eyes, some of them almost slavish.

She tried to walk away from them, but they insisted on following her. Now she was traveling through the streets of Philadelphia like a twisted pied piper, trailing half naked men instead of children.

They reached Love Park and she whirled around. The pack of them came to a sudden halt. She opened her mouth to speak, intending to send them on their way. They leaned towards her with expectant looks on their faces, sure she was going to impart some incredible pearls of wisdom to them. Abruptly she closed her mouth. Danielle was so not prepared for this.

Maybe she shouldn’t have made that wish in the ancient fountain to Aphrodite after all…

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x-posted to writero